Getting Over Yourself

I remember when I first started speaking for Tony Robbins.

I was one of 5 hand-selected people to be one of his national speakers and corporate trainers.

I was thrilled when I found out I got the job which was a four month long process in and of itself.

When I got it they sent me off to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Me all by myself in a city I knew nobody.

I would speak to audiences with as little as 5 people in a family owned real estate brokerage in the middle of nowhere one day and the next day I would speak with an audience of 2,000 people at Groupon in Chicago.

Four months later I’d move on to a new city and do the same thing again. New place, new friends, new clients.

What were my fears?

Here’s a few:

First…How am I going to fill the shoes and live up to the expectations of Tony Robbins?

Second…What if nobody cares about what I’m saying and don’t respond when I ask for a question of the audience?

Third…What if I don’t sell any tickets to the event I was there promoting for Tony?

I’m going to tell you how I got over the second fear which was the lead domino for getting over the other two fears.

What if nobody cares about what I’m saying and don’t respond when I ask for a question of the audience?

Whenever I had the opportunity to learn from Tony or the top performer on the team they had one resounding answer each time which I was highly disappointed by.


Because it sounded so cliche and simple.

Want to hear it?

Here you go…

Focus on the person in front of you and speak from your heart.

I know. Boring. Simplistic.

But the truth is it works. It’s one thing to understand a concept intellectually and an entirely different one when it’s embedded in your nervous system.

When you learn to lead with your heart you don’t need to follow a script or have the right words. You tap into a higher power within yourself that knows no bounds.

It takes practice, effort and consistency. I know that’s boring too.

But that’s what masters do. They do the ‘boring’ stuff and relish the process of refining their craft.

So I made sure each time I spoke in front of an audience I focused on the human in front of me and speaking from my heart.

Easier said than done.

The more I did it, the better I got.

I became a better speaker, sold more tickets, made more money and most importantly touched more lives with my influence.

This is how you get over yourself…by stopping thinking about yourself and directing that energy to the person in front of you. Whether that’s your significant other, client or a stranger.

Most of us are drowning in problems.

More specifically we are drowning in OUR problems. Meaning we are mostly focused on ourself.

Even when you have a problem about your child, boyfriend, client etc. most of the time it’s because they aren’t matching your expectations of how you believe they should talk, behave, think etc.

So how do you do it?

You need three things:

  1. Awareness of when you are overly focused on yourself.
  2. Honesty with yourself that you are overly-focused on yourself.
  3. Practice being other-oriented.

What is someone else’s biggest problem? What are they going through? How can you help them if they need it?

Those became some of the internal questions I focused on when speaking to 5 people or 2,000 people to the one person I was directly looking at. You penetrate a room of 2,000 by penetrating through the soul of the person right in front of you.

The neat thing is when you make this a habit and can toggle back and forth appropriately between having a healthy focus on yourself and others you become in control of your problems.

You are no longer drowning in them. They are now weights in a gym (pick your metaphor) that you get to pick up when you need to grow and learn new lessons from.

That’s what they are there for to begin with….to challenge us grow into a bigger and better person so we can serve at a higher level.

Pura vida,


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