Most people fail because they are focused on what they want to GET. Another way to put it is they are focused on what they are not getting. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get things but when the ratio becomes out of balance you create scarcity, lack, and all sorts of disempowering emotions (insert your favorite flavor here) that show up when someone is overly focused on themself.
When you shift your focus to what you want to GIVE everything changes.
What would it be like if you focused on what you are not giving instead of not getting?
I’ll repeat it because it’s an important question to ask consistently.
What are you not giving?
It shifts the way you show up and burn out melts away because the fuel to create and take action doesn’t come from push or willpower. The fuel is a magnetic pull that gives you a lift. The more action you take feeds into the virtuous cycle and gives you more energy. Life gives back to you.
How can you make this shift?
One. Gratitude for all the things you have already gotten. If you take it a step further, cultivate gratitude for all the things you have already GIVEN.
Two. Training yourself to focus on other people’s needs and how you can meet them. Fall in love with that process because that determines what you can GIVE to them that would be really meaningful to them. It doesn’t need to be a monumental give either. It can be as simple as a phone call to say hi. The key is the intent and emotion behind the act.
When I worked for Tony Robbins there were a few tools he would use every time he interacted with someone. One of them was called the six human needs. You can look up a video of him using them on YouTube. Essentially he always is scanning for the person’s needs hierarchy and how they are currently meeting those needs and how they want to meet them in a more fulfilling way.
The tricky part is you might have heard this or something along these lines before. There’s a lot of people who have the same knowledge base as the most successful people on the planet but they don’t have the same level of production and results to show for it. What’s the difference that makes the difference?
And how do you actually put what you know intellectually into practice?
That takes training, conditioning, shifting belief systems, updating values, raising standards, and updating rules. That’s a lot of stuff and may seem overwhelming. And it is if you don’t know what that means or how to do it. Just like coding a computer program is impossible for most people, for a developer it’s sometimes just a simple insert of a few letters and symbols and they look like they have superpowers to create a masterpiece out of a jumble of letters and symbols. You can be the developer of your own mind, body, and nervous system if you learn the skills. And when you do you will become like Neo in the Matrix.
Not everyone wants to take the red pill though and that’s totally ok. They would rather opt for the blue pill. And if that’s you you can forget you ever read this post.
Listen on the PEAK Performance Humans Podcast.