I remember when I first started speaking for Tony Robbins.
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I was one of 5 hand-selected people to be one of his national speakers and corporate trainers.
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I was thrilled when I found out I got the job which was a four month long process in and of itself.
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When I got it they sent me off to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Me all by myself in a city I knew nobody.
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I would speak to audiences with as little as 5 people in a family owned real estate brokerage in the middle of nowhere one day and the next day I would speak with an audience of 2,000 people at Groupon in Chicago.
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Four months later I’d move on to a new city and do the same thing again. New place, new friends, new clients.
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What were my fears?
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Here’s a few:
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First…How am I going to fill the shoes and live up to the standards of Tony Robbins?
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Second…What if nobody cares about what I’m saying and don’t respond when I ask for a question of the audience?
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Third…What if I don’t sell any tickets to the event I was there promoting for Tony?
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I’m going to tell you how I got over the second fear which was the lead domino for getting over the other two fears.
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What if nobody cares about what I’m saying and don’t respond when I ask for a question of the audience?
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Whenever I had the opportunity to learn from Tony or the top performer on the team they had one resounding answer each time which I was highly disappointed by.
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Why?
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Because it sounded so cliche and simple.
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Want to hear it?
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Here you go…
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Focus on the person in front of you and speak from your heart.
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I know.
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Boring.
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Simplistic.
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But the truth is it works. It’s one thing to understand a concept intellectually and an entirely different one when it’s embedded in your nervous system.
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When you learn to lead with your heart you don’t need to follow a script or have the right words. You tap into a higher power within yourself that knows no bounds.
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You also get out of your head. When you’re in your head…you’re dead.
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It takes practice, effort and consistency. I know that’s boring too.
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But that’s what masters do. They do the ‘boring’ stuff and relish the process of refining their craft.
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So I made sure each time I spoke in front of an audience I focused on the human in front of me and speaking from my heart.
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Easier said than done.
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The more I did it, the better I got.
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I became a better speaker, sold more tickets, made more money and most importantly touched more lives with my influence.
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This is how you get over yourself…by stopping thinking about yourself and directing that energy to the person in front of you.
. Most of us are drowning in problems.
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More specifically we are drowning in OUR problems. Meaning we are mostly focused on ourself and we let that get in the way of our being a better communicator with others. Whether that’s your significant other, your child, your client, a business prospect or a stranger.
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Even when you have a problem about your child, boyfriend, client etc. most of the time it’s because they aren’t matching your expectations of how you believe they should talk, behave, think etc.
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So how do you do it?
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You need three things:
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1. Awareness of when you are overly focused on yourself.
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2. Honesty with yourself when you are overly-focused on yourself.
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3. Practice being other-oriented.
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What is someone else’s biggest problem?
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What are they going through?
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How can you help them if they need it?
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Those became some of the internal questions I focused on when speaking to 5 people or 2,000 people to the one person I was directly looking at. You penetrate a room of 2,000 by penetrating through the soul of the person right in front of you.
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The neat thing is when you make this a habit and can toggle back and forth appropriately between having a healthy focus on yourself and others you become in control of your problems.
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You are no longer drowning in them. They are now weights in a gym (pick your metaphor) that you get to pick up when you need to grow and learn new lessons from.
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That’s what they are there for to begin with….to challenge us grow into a bigger and better person so we can serve at a higher level.
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Pura vida
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