Most people fail because they are focused on what they want to GET. They are focused on what they are not getting. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get things but when the ratio becomes out of balance you create scarcity, lack, and all sorts of disempowering emotions (insert your favorite flavor here) that show up when someone is overly focused on themself.
When you shift your focus to what you want to GIVE everything changes.
What would it be like if you focused on what you are not giving instead of not getting?
I’ll repeat it because it’s an important question to ask consistently.
What are you not GIVING?
It shifts the way you show up and burn out melts away because the fuel to create and take action doesn’t come from push or willpower. The fuel becomes a magnetic pull that gives you a lift. The more action you take feeds into the virtuous cycle and gives you more energy. Life gives back to you because life supports more of whatever is supporting life.
How can you make this shift?
One. Gratitude for all the things you have already gotten. If you take it a step further, cultivate gratitude for all the things you have already GIVEN.
Two. Training yourself to focus on other people’s needs and how you can meet them. Fall in love with that process because that determines what you can GIVE to them that would be really meaningful to them. It doesn’t need to be a monumental give either. It can be as simple as a phone call to say hi, a smile, or just managing your own emotional state so others feel good around you. The key is the intent and emotion behind the act.
When I worked for Tony Robbins there were a few tools he would use every time he interacted with someone. One of them was called the six human needs. Here’s a video of him using them on YouTube. Essentially he always is scanning for the person’s needs hierarchy and how they are currently meeting those needs and how they can meet them in a more fulfilling way.
The tricky part is you might have heard this or something along these lines before. There’s a lot of people who have the same knowledge base as the most successful people on the planet but they don’t have the same level of production and results to show for it. What’s the difference that makes the difference?
Doing what you know vs. saying you know it and not doing anything because it’s simple and basic. Complexity is the enemy of execution. Repetition is the mother of skill. Bruce lee said he doesn’t fear the man who knows 10,000 kicks, but the man who practices the same one kick 10,000 times.
And how do you actually put what you know intellectually into practice?
That takes training, conditioning, shifting belief systems, updating values, raising standards, and updating rules. That’s a lot of stuff and may seem overwhelming. And it is if you don’t know what that means or how to do it. Just like coding a computer program is impossible for most people, for a developer it’s sometimes just a simple insert of a few letters and symbols and they look like they have superpowers to create a technological masterpiece.
You can be the developer of your own mind, body, and nervous system if you put in the effort to learn the skills.